nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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