They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
