i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
