I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
