i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
