I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He? As in you personified your dick?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
