Where is the hickey?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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