I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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