he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
