even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
