It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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