her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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