question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
