found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize