so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
