Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
