How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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