YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just want nice things and good sex
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
