My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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