You can't special order awesome
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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