I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize