If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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