Plan B is the new Plan A
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
