I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
