she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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