i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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