i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i would one night stand the shit outta him
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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