Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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