Porn is love you can see.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
