dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
