if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
