Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
