please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
