How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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