I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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