I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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