she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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