i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
