Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
