i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
