I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I wish I could teleport
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
