He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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