drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize