Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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