I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
