Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She's the barista slut.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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