The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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