I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just pee around me
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
