is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
