if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize