never play flip cup with pint glasses
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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