I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
