Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
ttyl tear gas
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
