i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Dick very happy bro
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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