He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
