I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
