Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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