we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm at about main and main street
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
