i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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