her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
